parody -

I volunteer as tribute! • ZebethMedia

By zebethcontrolPosted on November 16, 2022Posted in EC Future of Work, EC Media, elon buys twitter, Elon Musk, Opinion, parody, Social, TwitterNo Comments

It’s not every day that an opportunity like this comes around. After working at Twitter for years, I’m finally being asked to do more with less. I’ve always wanted fewer co-workers, a manic boss, reduced communication, and non-stop chaos. And if I do well, I’ll help save the richest person alive both money and pride! Can you imagine a better offer? Let me explain. You see, there’s a man called Elon Musk. He’s very involved in a bunch of projects and doesn’t like to work in any single office. Heck, Elon doesn’t even work for just one company! He’s in charge of a bevy of concerns that keep him rather occupied. You can even track his jet as he flies about, busy as a bee. (It makes perfect sense that the leader should not have to work in an office while I am required to report to my cubicle daily — after all, the wealthy are our moral superiors!) But after he corralled a host of rich folks to invest and underwrite his hostile takeover of Twitter, things got sticky for poor Elon. He’s a big tweeter, you see, and before he owned the website, he could post whatever he wanted and get away with it. Remember that time he tweeted that he had the capital to take Tesla private? That was a tiny error, but Elon is still in charge of Tesla, collecting the lion’s share of the wealth on the backs of others. So it all came out fine!

RIP ZebethMedia’s Official Twitter Badge (11/9/22-11/9/22) • ZebethMedia

By zebethcontrolPosted on November 9, 2022Posted in parody, Social, TwitterNo Comments

For a few hours this morning, ZebethMedia was recognized by Elon Musk’s newest plaything, Twitter, as a news organization with enough merit to warrant a highly-coveted “official” designation. We regret to inform our readership that this elite classification has since been rescinded… along with the designation on all other accounts that earned this momentous honor. This morning, Twitter began rolling out a grey “official” badge. Since the blue checkmark can soon be purchased for $8 per month, this designation was intended to denote important accounts to protect them against impersonation (essentially, the same purpose that the blue check used to serve). But after a blissful few hours of acknowledgment from our new bird app overlords, our official check has moved on to a better place. When tech YouTuber Marques Brownlee posted about his own grey official badge, Chief Twit Elon Musk replied, “I just killed it.” The Tesla and SpaceX CEO followed up, “Blue check will be the great leveler.” Musk then took to his own account to explain: “Please note that Twitter will do lots of dumb things in coming months. We will keep what works & change what doesn’t.” Please note that Twitter will do lots of dumb things in coming months. We will keep what works & change what doesn’t. — Elon Musk (@elonmusk) November 9, 2022 Esther Crawford, the product manager who announced the roll out of official badges last night, said that this reversal may be temporary: “The official label is still going out as part of the @TwitterBlue launch — we are just focusing on government and commercial entities to begin with. What you saw [Musk] mention was the fact that we’re not focusing on giving individuals the ‘Official’ label right now.” For now, those of us at ZebethMedia HQ remain hopeful for our future as a Super Extra Verified account. “We at ZebethMedia were thrilled to be recognized as official by Twitter. We will always look back on our time as official with fond recollection and a sense of immense pride,” said Managing Editor Darrell Etherington in a statement. ZebethMedia has had a blue check on Twitter for at least ten years, an in-depth investigation into the Wayback Machine revealed. Though its tenure as an “official” account was short-lived, sources inside of ZebethMedia say that these meaningful memories will not be forgotten. “Despite no longer being official, we will continue, as a brand, to act in such a manner as we hope reflects the high honor of the mantle now that we’re once again reduced to just a single checkmark,” Etherington added. “Special thanks to our community for sticking with us through this trying time.”